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Why yes, Twilight SUCKS

November 19, 2009 3 comments

So I watched the movie while I was bored one rainy day awhile back.  Luckily I had a knitting project involving numbers and counting and such so I didn’t stab myself in the eyes.  Because it really was -that- bad.

I keep reading all these wonderful reviews about how horrible the book is.  I -still- wanted to see for myself, for some reason.

Four chapters in and I see that there is no exaggeration whatsoever coming from Twilight haters.

It’s like a bad accident.  A mild headache and eyestrain, four chapters later and I -still- can’t look away.  It’s horrible.  Where do I start?

– I am so sick and tired of Bella whining about the rain

– And the snow, that lasted… fuck if I know, two days?

– I’m sick of hearing about how PRETTY Edward is

– I’m sick of the weather.  It’s not important enough to write -that- much about it.  Seriously.

– Bella is a bit shallow

– Bella is boring

– Bella is clumsy.  There’s mention of her clumsiness just as much, if not more so than how pretty Edward is.  Clumsy is fine but I’m sick of hearing about it.

– Bella is… popular? How can she be popular? She’s so boring and fucking -plain-.  Is it just because she was in that accident? What? Why are there THREE guys asking her out? Are they losers too and they think she’s their own chance?

– Has Meyers ever heard of “show, don’t tell?” or even “show and tell?”

– With that said, as she ever heard of “editing”? Shhh, it’s okay, Meyers… I know, editing is scary.  It’s a lot of hard work.  *petpet* I’ve been loosing a lot of hair trying to edit just -one- of my books.

– Fourish chapters in and I’m seeing no plot.  The only thing that might pass as plot is Edward’s mysterious beauty. And the “plot” thickens when he saves her life, displaying what she believes to be superhuman strength and superhuman speed.

-Speaking of superhuman, why hasn’t Bella made any guesses as to how Edward saved her? I know Meyer has butchered the myth of vampires, but FUCK, can’t she just playfully think for a moment “DERR He’s a vampire! NOT” or something similar?  (she might have and I just missed it)

– I don’t feel anything for Bella but annoyance.  I don’t want to root for her.  I don’t want her to be with Edward in any way because it just seems like he’s jerking her around on a chain and she’s letting him (one day he’s smiling and talking to her nicely, the next she would be dead if looks could kill).  I want to yell or laugh at her.  And I don’t mean in a good way.  And I certainly can’t relate to her.  I wasn’t a typical teenage girl, so maybe that’s what I’m something I’m lacking.

– Bella may be a 17 year old but she doesn’t -read- like a 17 year old.  She sounds like a dingy old housewife.  There’s one phrase she used that I didn’t understand that sounded pretty old (fuck if I can find it again, don’t make me re-read or even skim for it) and another one that I recognized but have heard very few people say, and they’re older people.  If she’s going to read/talk/sound like a mature, older person, at least make the rest of her match the maturity level >.>

– Bella is immature and annoying.  Like a teenager.  I guess this isn’t really a valid complaint since it’s about a teenager.

– Wait… how much time has passed since the story started? 1 month? a few weeks? half a dozen weeks? One night? OMG I’M SO CONFUSED! I had to go back and read a couple pages just to try to find out WTF was going on.  I think I have low reading comprehension (read: poor attention span), but usually if I go back, I can find what got me so lost in the first place.

– Edward comes across as a cocky bipolar or possibly someone with DID.  Fuck you, Edward.  You’re not cool.  The only thing you have going for you is your ZOMG!!eleventy1! prettyness.

OMG.  Is that all the complaints?

One complaint from many Twilight haters I noticed was how readily she turns down all these guys trying to ask her out.  She didn’t want to go to the dance, period.  Because she’s clumsy (mentioned in one way or another constantly).  It wasn’t like she was going at it from a “I’m too good for you/I’m saving myself for Edward” thing.  So I side with Bella on that one.  I would have done the same thing in HS (or possibly even now, I just don’t dance).

And that’s just the surface level stuff.  I haven’t looked into the whole misogynist side of things.  I usually don’t notice that kind of stuff unless its glaringly obvious.  I did notice that Bella took on the typical housewife role with her father, but that was after reading about it from a hater.

Seriously.  The movie could have been better.  The book can be better.

In fact, I’m inspired to write one myself that’ll be 5 times less dull and more believable, just to prove how much Twilight sucks.  It won’t be a direct rip off of characters and plot (what plot?) but it will be inspired from it.  And have lots of things in common.  Like Harry potter has elements in common with Star Wars.  *nod*

And before anybody thinks I don’t have a right to complain about poor writing because they’ve read my writing and have found it to be even worse than Meyer’s I say: At least I admit it.  At least I didn’t try to publish it.  At least I’m willing to listen to criticism (not that I’ve ever gotten any).  At least I never claimed my writings were good.  At least I’ve been improving.  I’ve been working -hard- for the past few years to improve my writing and its just now starting to show.

Yes, every story and book attempt has pretty much been a completel failure.  My short stories, especially.  The writing was poor, the characters flat, the plots just… suck.  Everything.

Oh… it’s the middle of NaNo and suddenly I want to play for the book to cleanse my mind of Twilight…

So all in all: I can see how this book can be appealing.  Honestly I do.  It’s -almost- appealing.  It’s just horribly written with horrible characters.  If I had bought this (because I love YA and fantasy) I would have been crying at the loss of my rarely earned money.

*ETA*  I leave you with a quote from the book:

Did you get contacts?” I blurted out unthinkingly.

Categories: elusive hobbies, nerdy things Tags:

Tad Williams = New favorite author

October 13, 2009 Leave a comment

Today at a used book store, I picked up Ted Williams’ Otherland. I almost can’t put it down! Only reason why I am putting it down a lot (and only a few pages in) is because I’m all excited about my own writing.

Not only is this book showing me that I’m actually -not- doing it wrong, its showing me what I’m missing in my own writing. I’ll call this figurative writing for now. Because that makes sense in my head.

After not getting much book reading in for the past several years other that JK Rowling and Lemony Snicket and a spattering of other mostly mediocre stuff, I’m eating this up like I’ve been in the desert for 10 years. He writes in the person that I write, and all that jazz. So its nice have a role model. Or something.

So I’m all inspired now and rewriting the beginning to book #1. Not a -complete- rewrite, mind. I just want it to match what I’ve been recently rewriting. I can now view my books with a lot more confidence.

*SQUEE*

Categories: elusive hobbies Tags: , ,

My new baby

So Fey has been giving away some her shit.  Check out the shiny turd she bestowed upon me:

Its an LTD ESP M-55.  Apparently they’re a bit rare.  So rare that after a couple hours of Googling, I couldn’t find a pic of it.

So all I need is an amp, a cable, a tuner and a strap!

Categories: elusive hobbies Tags:

Cauliflower Curry

I made the most fantastical thing Fridayish night! I bought some cauliflower and just knew I had to do something with it.  So I got home and poked around at cauliflower and curry recipes and decided that heck… I can’t screw this up.  So off to the kitchen I went.  All that I had planned for was just putting cauliflower in curry sauce.

Almost 1 head of cauliflower

1 can tomato sauce

1 can diced tomatos

Almost a whole package of curry chunk things

Half a can of coconut milk

Some parsley

Some cilantro

Rice!

So lookig in my cupboard, I figured I could dump the sauce and diced tomatoes together with the curry stuff.  I figured that would be nummier than just melting the curry in water.  Then I found coconut milk and looked at the lable and saw it mention curry and I was like “A’ight! gambling time!”

Awhile later I had this delicious lovely fantastic brew of perfect tasting curry.  I mean wow.  But then I realized that my half can of coconut milk wasn’t quite half a can, so I dumped in a tad bit more to even things out.  Sadly, this completely changed the taste of my curry.  It was way too creamy… or something.  So I added MORE CURRY and then it was too salty and bleh.  Added more water, sacrificing my nice thick blend and… ehh.

So I went to add a bit of parsley and cilantro.  Unfortunately I added 3 to 4 times more of each than I wanted… but after stirring and tasting it was like O.O  it was very strange.  So I cooked it a bit longer and decided it was ready for serving (after doing up some rice of course).

By the time it cooled enoug to eat, it just had this amazing flavor.  It was very… interesting.  And the cauliflower was at this not-quite-musy-cooked stage and just had its own amazing totally off the wall flavor.

The next two days of leftovers was heavenly.  The flavor just got better and better.  Funny enough though, it didn’t really taste a whole lot like curry.

So I’m looking forward to this again.  I hope to be able to repeat my blunder.  If not, I’ll have a regular tasting curry that will be delicious too!

Categories: elusive hobbies Tags: ,

Downtown Lounge, Diablo’s fetish night!

So Saturday night I got to go out with Coug and Tiggy to Eugene’s Downtown Lounge.  It was fetish night… wear all black or fetish stuffs.  I borrowed a hot n sexy dress from Tiggy, wore my collar, some leg cuffs (mroooowl!) and my smexxie heels.  Coug had me on a thick black leash the whole time.

It took forever to actually get out of the house and to Diablo’s but once we were there: WOW O.O

It was just like Second Life!

Minus the contest boards and 7 foot tall skinny people.

The place was packed.  The booze was flowing.  Some of the clothes were totally awesome.  We saw a fire show by… Eve’s… Eden… something rather.  It wasn’t too terribly exciting, but there were some awesome moments. There was a show on the stage inside with some burlesque-ish type stuff going on.

Downstairs there was play piercing by High Priestess and what I will call play playing.  There was a guy who had a routine he was putting various ladies through.  “Flogging”, knife play, hot wax n ice, then shaving the wax off with straight razors.  That part I had never heard of before.  The idea is exciting ^-^

And apparently, according to one lady, we were the only “non posers” there.  I didn’t hear the conversation, but heard about it afterwards from Coug.  Some lady was asking him why we were the only lifestylers there.  She guessed we were because Tiggy had a mask on, I was leashed and us ladies were calm.  O.o

Umm… my response would have been “Because this isn’t a BDSM club.”  This was a -bar-, not a dungeon.  Not a munch.  A -BAR-.  If you want to find a plethora of lifestylers, you’re looking in the wrong place.

With all that said….: BOOBIES!

Yeah, I saw me some boobies 🙂

Awesome time.  I’d like to go again.  I actually wouldn’t mind going on a regular night and hanging out.  I liked their pool area. Coug and I shot some. It was fun at first but my patience always gets the best of me by the second game. >.>

It was such a fun night, despite being on my period and not having any alcohol.

Categories: elusive hobbies Tags: , ,

New favorite hobby: Sandboarding!

Woot!

Yesterday Katie and I went sandboarding.  It was GREAT fun! I’ve never done anything like it.  I was so excited about trying it when we got there.  And my cramps weren’t too bad to start off with so I get to have loads of fun.  By the time they got really bad I was freaking exhausted anyway.

I did biff pretty hard twice.  The first time was very audible and I think I slid a bit… *rubs ass*  Yeah, sore.  But not too bad (yet, we’ll see tomorrow).  The 2nd time I may or may not have given myself a very minor case of whiplash :-p My back twisted and popped, from somewhere between my shoulders all the way up to the top of my neck.  I heard the popping in my head.  I don’t know exactly how I landed so horribly wrong to end up like that but… hey it was still fun :-p  How it happened was a tire snuck up on me in my path and for whatever reason it freaked me out O.O  Yeah, I have no clue.

It was -so- much easier than it looks.  I can’t say too much about turning or anything like that.  I mean just getting on and going down, staying up and balanced… very easy.  A couple times I leaned backwards too much for same reason bet only a couple times.

So yeah… sandboarding is defiantly my new hobby.  Katie enjoyed it immensely also.

Ohh and the people at the sandboard shop were great to talk to, even if it was just a little bit.

After that we went to go get Katie’s obligatory toe dipping in the Pacific ocean.  She loved it 🙂 We both kendered some shells, I drew some quickie messages in the sand to be quickly swept away by the tide, and we left.  Great day though.  Very awesome.

And today we’re headed to Crater Lake! (I’ve been a few times).  I realy wanted to make some curry or noodles to bring as a light picnic snack food for there but noooo I was just dead last night.  Physically I could have done it but mentally I would have made fuck ups along the way.

So for some reason I felt like I should get gussied up today.  I’m even wearing a *gasp!* bra! And *gasp* jewelry! My hair is looking interesting today and I LOVE this shirt so I figured it would be a great time for a pic ^-^

[singlepic id=43 w=320 h=240 float=]

Ewww the pic quality came out really shitty.  I’ll see what I can do about that later.  >.<

Oh, one lats quickie note on my lunastix progress: Today I started practicing twirling with my lefthand.  Its coming along quicker than I thought ^-^ I’m so bringing them with me today.

Somewhat Nummy Noodles

May 22, 2009 2 comments

Woo! still busybusybusy! I’ve been running around like a head with my chicken cut off.  Doing things! Gogogo! doitdoitdoit! GIT ‘R DONE! Last night I help Coug clean out his geek closet space and his geek room.  We piled everything by the front door and today we hauled all the geek stuff off to Next Stop, a computer recycling/thrift store.  We got back and started gathering up more stuff.

I stopped long enough to make something I’ve been wanting to try.  I probably wouldn’t have done it if I haven’t been in Git ‘R Done mode.

What You Need:

Halfish pound of noodles you like

Some cream cheese

Some butter

Some Pesto

Small handful of TVP.

Various seasonings (I used thyme, oregano, random other stuff)

Preperation:

Prepare a tea bath for your noodles.  Fill a pot with water, dump in herbs, bring to boil.

Dump in noodles.  And TVP.

Get noodles to that almost done phase.

Drain noodles.

Plop in some butter and cream cheese.  Stir in to melt.  I kept putting the cream cheese in until the noodles were looking white.   Don’t forget some pesto.  I taste tested this a lot along the way.

Added some salt.

Um… eat! ^-^

I’m finding that its actually yummier the more I eat it.  Probably because its cooling down.  This would be great chilled.  And with more cream cheese.  And with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.

So yeah… next time probably double or close to double the amount of cream cheese.  Maybe some more pesto.  Either add a lot more TVP or none at all because from what I can tell its not really doing anything.

Categories: elusive hobbies Tags: