Second Life Demon/Dragon Kitty avatar

Because people keep asking “what are you?”.
No, I’m not a fucking demon/dragon kitty.  I just like how it looks.  And yeah, I’m not a furry.  Just happen to have a few anthro avatars on SL.

I am/not a furry

I am not a furry.

It is sad that I have to defend myself against this most egregious of insults.  I consider it an insult because I don’t think I am a furry.  you could call me fat, or a flaming duck on a monkey and I would take it as an insult.  And… I hate labels.

Let me open with a couple definitions:

Furry: Fairly enough, this can be open to interpretation. But I’m pretty sure its safe to say that someone who admires the furry fandom and or calls themselves a furry, is a furry. If someone has never heard of the fandom but if they -had- and it appeals to them/fits them, they are a furry.  If someone knows they are not a furry and doesn’t like the fandom… chances are, they are not a furry.

Anthropomorphic: This is the act of giving human characteristics to inanimate or non-human animals.

Now, here is a list of all the things that people point out when they insist on calling me a furry followed by my rebuttals:

“You’re a furry! You wear a collar with a big bell!”

I wear the collar for BDSM and the big bell is a bit of an inside joke. Its so you can hear me coming. I am not a furry.

“You’re a furry! You live with them!”

Moving in with a buncha furries was somewhat out of my hands. I had an idea of what I was getting into when I moved in here. But there wasn’t any other choice. It was either that or sleep on my mother’s couch that reeked of cat pee. I wasn’t expecting to be harassed by all this. If I had known some hippies that could take me in, I would be with the hippies. I am not a furry.

“You’re a furry! Your avatar on SecondLife is a furry!”

I have various human avatars, various ANTHROPOMORPHIC (not FURRY) avatars, yes, but I also have a toaster avatar as well as a flying book, a non-anthro rat, non-anthro moth… and who knows what else that is non-anthro. I haven’t been on for ages so I don’t recall. I am not a furry.

“You’re a furry! All your friends are furries!”

Just because I -know- a lot of people here who are furries, doesn’t mean they’re all my friends or that I am a furry. Furthermore, most of the people I know here are furries because I don’t get out much. See “You live with them!”. When I was living in Grants Pass, everyone I knew were mostly professional business people. That didn’t make me very professional. I could dress up and try to act the part but people still thought me odd and 15 at most. I am not a furry.

“You’re a furry! You write furry stories!”

Again, get your definitions right. I do not write about people who like the fandom or have a special affinity for a certain animal or dress in animal costumes or draw anthros, etc. I have no control over the characters that come to me. I should also note that many characters happen to be human. I am not a furry.

“You’re a furry! You have a furry name!”

Ok… that wasn’t the exact wording I heard but close enough. Just because I have a name that isn’t any relation to my real name doesn’t mean I’m a furry. This name was made up -before- I knew there was a furry fandom and by then I certainly wasn’t into the fandom, even though I didn’t know about it. I am not a furry.

“You’ve made/you’re making a tail! You’re a furry!”

I made a purple leopard print tail once. Big deal. Now, many years later, I’m making a “Faux-real” tail. Big deal. I’m desperate for work and money. I’m a craftsperson/artist. This is inspiring me to hopefully be able to make some money. I have no interest whatsoever in fursuiting. I will never go that far because I really really really don’t like fursuits. Just the accessories are kinda neat. I am not a furry.

“You like cuddling! You’re a furry!”

I like cuddling sometimes with some people. I’m trying really really hard not to be a cranky, introverted hermit. I’m working really hard on anxiety issues. Most of the time I’m going out of my comfort zone by cuddling. And of course I like head and other scratches. It feels fucking fantastic. Anybody who doesn’t agree has never tried it. I am not a furry.

“You’re on FA! You’re a furry!”

I have friends here with accounts. I like to support my friends in their art. That’s… about it. I am not a furry.

“You went to a furry con! You’re a furry!”

I wanted to get out of the house. I didn’t want to baby sit any animals. I knew from experience of the last time I was alone for a few days that I was miserable. It was great getting out of the house and so worth it in that regard. I am not a furry.

I will admit to drawing some anthros in the past before I gave up trying (my skills plateaued and I really don’t desire to draw anthros). Also to note, I don’t like most movies and TV shows and books that furries like. But other than that, I don’t recall off hand any other things people pull out of their asses to help their lame ass cause.

In closing on this section, I think its pretty safe to say this: I am not a furry. I don’t like the fandom. I happen to have some friends that I love very much that are furries, but I don’t hold that against them. So I think you all should give me a bit of slack.

I am Furry – or – Thoughts on how to be furry for a non-fur

At Rainfurrest ’09, a friend told furries that I didn’t even know, that I was trying to open up to and be social with, that I’m a furry. Like a closet furry or somesuch. This upset me because… hey, I’m not a furry. Labels shouldn’t be thrown around with so casually. I left and a short time later started getting a bit drunk (the only way I can be happy these days it seems, around groups of people). I texted said friend that fine, I give up, I’m a furry. If you can’t beat them, join them I guess.

He showed another friend (Tiggy) and someone else overheard and that someone else came to me

Well let’s see… I have no particular affinity for any type of animal. If I resigned myself to one thing, I’d hate it pretty quickly. This is why I have multiple avatars on Second Life. I have a hard time with labels and what I’m presenting of myself. I looooooooooove birds and rats, but I can’t stand the idea of having either as a “fursona”. A feline of some type or a bunny would settle better and probably last a few hours longer… but I could never settle there either. I’ve also considered dragon.s

So, with all the previous reasons why I’m not a furry mentioned, and I don’t even care to have a fursona, WHY THE FUCK AM I A FURRY?! How in the world can you call me a furry??

So yeah. I guess I’m a furry now, even though I’m not really. I walked around Rainfurrest feeling awkward and like a faker/poser. I kept hiding my badge because it had anthro stuff on it that just wasn’t -me-. If there’s anything in this world that’s annoying other than teasing your friends about being something their not, its PRETENDING to be something you’re not.

So now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’ve admitted to being a furry… but I’m still not a furry. What the fuck?

Oh! And I haven’t “come out of the closet”. I wasn’t a furry to begin with, so there’s no closet involved. I’m open about the furry thing, I don’t hide it from anyone, so there is no closet.

Meanwhile, still recovering…

Seems like Coug and Tiggy picked up some sort of ick at the con.  I think its mostly passing me over, so that’s good news.  Yay for being sick all the time when I was little! its paying off in my later years 🙂

Sooo yeah.  I’m pretty certain the con broke me.  That’s the only way I can explain it.

I couldn’t be relaxed/happy at the con unless I was drunk.  All my sober time was spent scowling at nearly everyone.  I did manage to start being social Saturday morning but that was killed when a certain someone started telling the group I was hanging out with that I’m a furry and of course it always goes downhill from there.  It was at that point that Protective-Xeen came back out to scowl at everyone.

I won’t get into Protective-Xeen here and the role she plays.  But yeah.  Broken Xeen is broken.  And slightly icky.

Oh! At one of the panels there was an artist saying that she quit using IMs and such.  I have been considering this for awhile, and Tiggy hasn’t been on one for awhile and she’s happy about it.  I think I’d spend a lot less dicking around time on the intertubes if I stopped logging onto my IM gadgets.  Thinking about it… it seems like most of the time, I have my laptop attached to me just so I can chat with people.  There’s nothing particularly wrong with that, it’s very time consuming.  Its like I get on IM just to chat with people or wait to chat with people and spend that idle time between messages doing stuff on the net like random surfing and playing little games.

So basically, its like a multitasking thing.  My attention span is pretty damn poor as it is, so maybe this will help.  Maybe I can get more shit done.  I don’t really know what I -need- to get done, though unless I create projects for myself.  Well… I do need to finish coloring that picture for Coug…

I also need to start job hunting for awhile.  I prolly should do that with a six pack of beer at my side.  That gets way too depressing.

Sooooooo yeah.  Need to focus.  Get stuff done… what do I need to do… hmmm…

Still need to finish some mixed media stuff

Coug’s pic (digital)

-Still- need to finish Queen Anne’s Lace

Need to finish that tail I started last night

Most importantly: MY DAMN NOVELS!

Oh, I made some ATCs and Poi the other night.  I’ll have to post ’em at Paintful Memories!

Rainfurrest ’09

Ok so I went to my first and last furry convention eveh.

And its not really anything personal towards furries but… in general, I did not enjoy myself.  There wasn’t much to do that appealed to me, a non-furry.  I didn’t go there to meet anyone (from online, but lots of local furries were there). I didn’t have any money to blow, certainly wasn’t interested in commissioning… just…. I had no reason to be there but to get out of the house, you know?

The one writing panel I really wanted to go to was canceled and the pirate hat that Coug bought me was FUCKING STOLEN.  So yeah.

I had to get DRUNK to tolerate myself and other people.  Yeah, the issues… I haz them.

I’ve been to Chamber of Commerce cons before where I did the same thing.  Got drunk (first time by accident, I swear) in order to try to enjoy myself.

Oh! Friday night there was a crazy ass awesome dance with all sorts of glowy pretty things and awesome music.  Kudos to the DJs, they did awesomely.  And the dancing was crazy fun.

Seeing 2 the Ranting Gryphon was also awesome.  Those two things made the trip worthwhile, I think.  When we got there Thursday night, myself and some others actually got to chat up 2.  I think some of us didn’t realize who he was and I had never heard of him before except I think I saw his name on the con website.  He’s a pretty nice, sexy, levelheaded dude.  I didn’t realize he was a comedian until I heard all about it later.

He is so George Carlin’s replacement 🙂

Oh man, I wish I remembered all the snippets of conversation I heard as I was wandering around.  I know there were some very amusing ones.  The only one I remember was “Its ok, I wore a condom”.  Man, the drunker you are, the harder it is to keep a straight face 🙂

So some observations I made:

• Didn’t seem to be a lot of raccoon-types floating around.  I demand more raccoons.
• There are A LOT MORE FEMALE FURRIES than you motherfucking furries let on to! Where have you been hiding them all??
• Not many tail rings.  Come on, people! More tail rings!
• Lots of naked fursuits.  The ones that were dressed, from what I recall, had very awesome costumes.  This coming from someone who couldn’t possibly care less about fursuits.
• Lots of bright blue and yellow (damnit, I would have so picked those colors), as well as purple and blue.
• Rorschach was hot.
• Not much cosplay.  I wasn’t expecting it but I saw a couple and thought that was pretty awesome.
• Also, I can totally see where many many furry stereotypes come from.  *nodnod*

So yeah, kudos to Coug and Tiggy for feeding me.  Sorry I lost the tricorn hat.  Fucking furry thieves.

In hindsight, I really should have brought my big bag of art supplies.  My mixed media stuff.  To you know… shake things up a bit? I’d like to see some different arts going on with these furries.  Why don’t you people show off your non-anthro art? I would have been all over that! Then I’d fit in a bit.

So yeah, last furry con for me, ever.  Actually, I really don’t think I’d go to -any- other con ever again.  I don’t care WHAT the subject matter is.  Those places are not for me.  Its just a way to get out of the house and get drunk for one night and be cranky with everyone the whole time.

(I’m a friendly drunk, not so much sober)

I’m quite certain I have more I can add but I should go get some real sleep soon.

Yet another furfag party!

So Friday night we had 15+ furries at the house. The idea was hot tubbing then meeting back at the house for Watchmen. Tiggy, Coug and I went booze shopping and run to the Goodwill to pick up some chairs for people to sit on at the house.

The evening of fun started an hour late at the hot tub place. Remind me to either not go tubbing again or bring something to entertain myself. I just could not enjoy it. The company was cool enough but I couldn’t settle down and relax. Maybe the water just wasn’t hot enough. I think if we did this again, I’d rather be at the house preparing for piles of fucking furries to hang out (like food or whatever).

So we piled back to the house and everyone started jumping on the booze. I had talked Coug into getting some Captain Morgan’s Private Reserve. It was just as good as I remember. Its the most decent stuff you can get for about $20.

My room sort of became an extension of hang-out space ;-p I ended up with all sorts of boys on my bed. So many boys! O.O

By the time the Watchmen movie started, I was too drunk to really want to sit and watch it. I did watch the opening credits, which were amazing. And its a couple days later and I -still- haven’t seen it! My dad watched it yesterday and I think he was about scraping his eyes out from boredom. (I watched opening credits again with him… sill awesome!)

But anyway. Yeah, we only had a couple stranglers hanging out til morning… Smight and a guy whose name I keep forgetting (seriously, I knew less than half the people there, some faces I only recognized). Luckily we have a bit of crashing out space for such occasions.

So yeah, I think the party couldn’t have come at a better time. And I only drank slightly too much ^-^ I’m learning self control! yay! ^-^ And the slightly too much wasn’t too much in a bad way. I could have drank a -lot- more. I just have been putting the smack-down on myself.

Yet another Eugene, Oregon Furry party… another success apparently.

Fucking furries! Sexy Party (finals edition)

So Tiggy finished her finals Thursday night and she wanted a party.  At least that’s the reason I heard :-p

And over came several furries.

Tiggy.  The hostess with the mostess.  And me.

Coug.  The bouncer.  Who didn’t have to bounce anyone.

Fucking furries.  And me.  I’m sitting on Smight’s lap.  The kid in the red shirt is some kid in a red shirt.  The other guy on the couch is a geek, FTW.  Florida-shirt guy is Travis.  Hidden guy with hat is Crowley.  Guy hiding Crowley is… in the way.  Striped jersy guy is Nick, I think.  And, omg, that wasn’t all of them!

We had a sexy party contest.  These were our contestants:

I’m the one with the horrid posture.  Then there’s Nick, Shade Koba and Crowley.

Also starring: Smight’s feet.  He won sexiest footwear, of course.

I can’t remember all who won what.  Crowley won sexiest hat, I think.  And I won sexiest bottoms (automagically after I “flashed” everyone).  Nick might have won sexiest shirt…

But yeah.  Wild evening.  There’s more pictures but I can’t be bothered to spiff ’em all up :-p  There’s a really hawt pic of Crowley I’d like to draw from ^-^ He’s really photogenic.

The crazy week just continues…

Interesting week. And my hair.

Well.  This has been a very colorful week O.O I’ve been so busy doing various things that I don’t know what I’m doing until its done.  And I can’t remember -when- I’ve done them.

Sunday (I think) I took a lovely drive with Ramidi in his smexxy RX8 to the coast.  We cruised around a bit, grabbed some fishy fast food, and cruised back to down.  It was a complete 20 degrees cooler there.  It was a really nice drive.

I saw a lot of Kniphofia that were just stunning in person.

We got back to the house and watched the last 2 episodes of season 2 of Supernatural (LOOOOVE that show).  It was 13 shades of awesome! ^-^

I can’t remember anything about Monday.  I’m sure it involved lots of cleaning though.  We did finally get the front room sorted.  There’s still stuff in the bathroom that was moved there while we were shuffling stuff around.  I don’t think its too much though.  So yeah, lots of housework and gardening.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping.  Freaking spent $81 on just a few skimpy bags >.>  I need to be careful for the rest of the month, damnit! *blames Coug, actually* Oh, but I finally found the tankatsu sauce! YUM.

Annd… some stuff.  Oh, and one of the local furries dropped by.  Travis (such a cute boy!).  I made “chicken cacciatore”, or at least how I learned how to make it a few years ago.  It was fucking delicious and made everyone happy.  Later we had birthday cake.  Yes, the birthday cake lives on! There’s still some left! O.O

There was a totally awesome thunderstorm! Ok it wasn’t that impressive… but still.  Love them thunderstorms.  We were working with poor Bo to try to get her as comfortable around the storm as possible.  This involved lots of treats and praise, of course 🙂  She did pretty well.  I think.

And of course I got some twirling in the rain accomplished.  Its a a must-do in any storm.  And I got drenched and cold enough to finally come in and get my warm dry jammies on and we all randomly cuddled for awhile, I almost fell asleep on Travis after Tiggy almost fell asleep on him.  Then Travis decided to crash out here so we took the cuddling to the futon in front of the open window in my room, which felt nice and cooool and clean after a long hot/muggy day.

Travis spend awhile cuddling with Tiggy then he decided to spend the night and we crashed on the futon and we joked back and forth about his shirt that said “powered by Bawls” on it (which is some sort of energy drink I guess).  That was an on-going joke.  It.  Would.  Not.  End! Then Tiggy eventually joined us and eventually we all passed out probably not long before dawn.

And then we woke up around 7:30 freakin’ AM O.O  And we sorta went our separate ways around the living room then Travis and Tiggy stole my futon again and a curled up on the love seat in the living room ^-^

SO.

Things I need to do today is housework and maybe some more bushwhacking outside.  And some weeding.  But shouldn’t have to do much.

Things to do before Fey gets back:

• Clean out the fridge
• Tidy the pantry
• Wash Fey’s bed sheet
• Make at least one set of her flag poi
• And a tarot reading

An a side note! I’ve apparently gotten a lot better with my lunastix! I found out that if you put a little aggression into it then it goes a bit easier.  And I’ve gotten a lot better about not dropping it.  And the helicopter move… while I can’t do it for very long, I can kind of do it for a little bit then switch into something else.  Its not an easy switch, but its a switch.

So yeah.  I’m still trying to wake up.  I’m freaking sore and tired and slow moving but I’ll try.

p.s. I started feeling loads better yesterday… after that whole thing about the previous post…